


Appeasement

by supershadsy



Category: Sonic the Hedgehog - All Media Types
Genre: Angst, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, One-Sided Relationship, Secret Relationship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-03
Updated: 2015-12-03
Packaged: 2018-05-04 18:29:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,985
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5344202
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/supershadsy/pseuds/supershadsy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Shadow tries to leave for the night, but Sonic won't let him. Yet, he also won't let him stay over. Why is that?</p>
            </blockquote>





	Appeasement

**Author's Note:**

> This is a late birthday gift for fabdoka on twitter! Happy belated birthday!

_("I want to know the truth."_

_"The truth about what?")_

Moonlight danced on the ocean shores below as Shadow stared out the window of Sonic's bedroom. _He hates water,_ he thought. _So why did he pick the room that sits right above the ocean? Tails' is on the other side..._ The light reflected off the power rings on his gloves, the red stripes down his arms, his red irises. _I suppose it is peaceful, in a way. Different than the view from my apartment..._

"You still here?" Sonic asked, bounding up the stairs. One of Shadow's ears flicked. _His steps sound different when he isn't wearing his shoes. I almost did not hear him. Almost._ "I thought you would've left already."

"No, that is more like _you,"_ he muttered, crossing his arms. "You leave before I even have the chance to say goodbye."

"I've got places to be," Sonic insisted, walking up beside him. Shadow allowed himself to sneak a glance over. _He has not put his gloves back on yet, either._ "Can't stay out all night, y'know. Tails gets worried."

"Mmm." The sloshing of water against the dock filled the silence between them. _It is always odd for him to be still like this,_ he thought, his own tail twitching. _At times it is more alarming than soothing. It's natural for him to be restless, and not quiet._ "I can leave if you wish."

"N-no, I wasn't sayin' that," Sonic said with a chuckle. He smoothed back his quills with his bare hand. "I was...I was just, ah..."

"What?" Shadow finally turned his head over to him. Sonic's emerald green eyes shimmered from the moonlight, bright as Chaos itself. _What do you want?_

The air was still for a moment, before Sonic grabbed his wrist, tugging him a little closer. "J-just...something, before you go," he said, oddly tentative. His gaze cast down as he tilted his head, his nose brushing against the side of Shadow's muzzle. _Something?_ Sonic blinked up at the last second. _I see._

_And he wants me to make the move._

"Very well," Shadow murmured, stroking the side of his face before kissing Sonic's lips. His intentions were simple, an assurance, but Sonic wanted more, acting deeper than he anticipated. _You always want more. Always._ He was already pushing him back, and Shadow let him, right up until he was backed against the windowsill. Sonic wrapped his arms around his back, between his back spines, while Shadow reached for the ones on his head.

 _Stay focused,_ he thought, running his hand with the grain of his quills, and then slowly back, enough to feel the prick of his spines. His kiss was soft, but juxtaposed to the sharp pinch of quills poking through his gloves and into his hand, the heat beginning to rise at the base of his neck was dismissed. _If you let him take you again, well..._

Sonic broke off abruptly. "Hey," he said, pulling Shadow's hand away from his head. Spots of pink were beginning to show up on his pristine white gloves, and his eyes narrowed. "What're you doing?"

"I simply did not want to get carried away, that is all," Shadow replied. His words were calm, but a twinge of guilt nagged in the back of his throat.

"You don't need to hurt yourself like that." Sonic pushed him away. "If you didn't _want_ to, you shouldn't have gone for it, you know?"

"What does it matter?" Shadow retorted, speaking out the window, as Sonic was back to him. "You would not have let up until you got your last kiss."

"Shad, _cut it out._ I ain't the bad guy here."

"I only speak the truth." He paced over to him, his own rocket shoes making a distinctive clunking noise against the wooden floor. "Besides, it is not that I did not _want_ to. I merely did not want it to turn into something more. We already had our fun, and it is late."

"We did, didn't we?" Sonic smirked knowingly, then sighed, pacing from one end of the room to the next. "I guess you're right. You know best, as usual."

 _Whenever he makes a remark like that, it always feels like he's mocking me, somehow. Tongue in cheek._ "Regardless, I should go," he said.

"Already?" Sonic whined. "Why can't you stay the night?"

 _I hate it when he does this. Very well..._ "Why will you not tell your friends about us?" Shadow replied. "Even Tails does not know, does he?"

He grit his teeth, fingers tapping angrily against his elbows. "Wh-why won't you?"

 _Back and forth like this, always._ "Because of you. I have Rouge and Omega as confidants. You, on the other hand, are a world renowned hero with many friends across many places and backgrounds."

"So? I don't care what they think," Sonic replied, wandering to the bed and bouncing on it, kicking his feet up. "I'm still me even if I have a boyfriend."

Shadow's eye twitched. _That is the first time he has used that terminology._ He bit the inside of his cheek. _I feel as if it does not suit me..._ "That is right," he said. "So, you would not have a problem with letting Tails know, say, tomorrow?"

"Oh no, not tomorrow, I can't," he said immediately. "I'm out with Knux tomorrow. We're going to spar out on the island."

"Then you can tell him, then."

"Nah, I can't."

"Why not?"

"Because! It's not the right time, you know how it is."

"Then when will it be?"

Sonic fell silent, and his feet began to fidget on the bed. _We have had this conversation dozens of times. He is insistent that he does not care what others think, but does not want to be candid about our relationship. It makes me...wonder if there is not another reason for why he wishes to keep it a secret._

_It is a reason I do not know if I have the heart to face._

When he didn't reply, Shadow sighed and headed toward the door, a hand on the doorknob. _I could easily use Chaos Control to get home from here,_ he thought, his jaw tight and strained. _But I never do. I always run home. Is it his influence?_

"I don't know," Sonic said finally. From his peripheral, Shadow saw that he had shifted so his feet were dangling off the edge of the bed, eyes at the floor. "I don't--listen, I just don't--"

"Stop," he interrupted. _Why, why? Are you too afraid to hear it? Are you? Are you?_ "It is fine. Do...not worry about it."

Sonic glanced up at him, and Shadow couldn't swallow his grimace. _I hate it when he looks at me like that. His eyes are not meant to be clouded with worry. That is my influence on him, and I am ashamed for it. It does not suit him._ "Shad," he said weakly.

"I will not let you spend any extra energy over me," Shadow said, gripping the doorknob so tightly he was afraid it might snap. "Or over the state of our relationship."

"Hey, wait, don't be like that--" Sonic snaked in front of the door like a bullet, blocking Shadow's way. "C'mon, d-don't leave on a sour note," he stammered, a good-natured chuckle becoming laced with anxiety.

Shadow only steadied his gaze.

_("I want to know the truth."_

_"The truth about what?"_

_"About how you feel about me.")_

"I cannot help it if you keep stopping me like this," he said. _I knew this is what I signed up for, as the saying goes. But, why? Do I enjoy trying to grasp the wind? Or did I let my emotions get the better of me once again?_

"I'm not stupid," Sonic spat, leaning up against the door with his hands behind his head. "You can do Chaos Control anytime. Nothin' I can do if you just wanna go."

Shadow choked back frustration, jagged and whole. _Damn it, there is nothing_ I _can do if_ you _just want to go, either--!_ He managed to keep his voice steady, however, even soft. "That may be true," he said, grasping at Sonic's shoulder."I could always take you with me, to my apartment."

"I _can't,"_ Sonic replied. "Tails freaks out if I'm not around when he wakes up and I don't tell him anything."

Shadow let his hand drift away, dropping at his side. "I see." _You never let anything stop you or get it in your way,_ he thought sadly, taking a step back from him. _I have seen it in action countless times, the way you let the wind and your heart guide you to your conclusions on life. You pursue things and save the world not only because it is right, but because it is fun._

_So, why are you suddenly full of excuses?_

_Why do I_

_why does the notion of "us" somehow get in your way?_

_Why does it stop you?_

Shadow wandered back to the window and opened it, letting the sea breeze float in and flutter the curtains. _I know why,_ he thought, looking down on the inky ocean below. _I cannot say it now, for I would make this meeting even more fragile. And, quite frankly,_

_("I want to know the truth._

_"The truth about what?"_

_"About your feelings for me."_

_"...I don't know.")_

_I don't care to dwell on it myself, childish as it may be._

"What are you doing?" Sonic asked, suddenly behind him.

"Taking a different route," he replied, turning only his head to see him from the corner of his deep red eyes. "Sonic."

He blinked, taken aback. "W-what?"

Shadow slowly closed his eyes and gave a imperceptible shake of his head. "Thank you for appeasing me," he muttered, before leaping out the window.

 _He won't follow me,_ he thought as the sea grew closer and closer as he fell. The velocity of the wind felt cool against his face, a welcome sensation to combat the rising heat from his muzzle. _That is perhaps for the better._ He balled his hands into fists an inch before breaking the water, and warped himself up to the train tracks, a thousand feet away from Sonic and Tails' beach-side house. He stood facing it, as a light turned on inside for a minute, then back off again. _I assume Tails went to check on him. We can be quiet during certain acts, but apparently not when we argue._

The stars twinkled above him as he walked along the bridged tracks in the direction of Station Square. _This is the price I pay for trying to control the wind. Was it worth it? Does it fill the void you wanted? Is the way that he is intimate with you enough to satisfy the longing in your heart?_ He began to pick up his pace, Chaos energy flaring at the base of his shoes. _It will never be, and you know it. This was a mistake at its core, but you never can squander the opportunity to hold him, time and time again._

_You know_

_that his heart belongs to no one._

_It is as free as the wind, and that is something you must accept._

"I..." he whispered to himself, his speed beginning to make the scenery bleed around him in the dark. His heart raced in his chest, and his throat stung, but not from fatigue. "I am a damned _fool."_

Nature responded to him by ushering a cross breeze across the bridge, making Shadow crouch against the rails to keep his balance.

_("You do not know?"_

_"Yeah, I don't. Honest. What's the big deal?"_

_Sonic hovered over him, pinning his hands to the bed, breathing on his neck. Shadow bit his lip. "Nothing," he said._

_He began kissing his neck, and Shadow allowed himself to get lost in it...)_

**Author's Note:**

> This Sonadow is...complicated, at the very least. I guess this exists in that same universe as _Up The Ante_ , only this is one of the darker moments of their relationship. Sonic doesn't carry the same feelings for Shadow as he does for him, but the pleasure involved is "fun" for him, so he plays along. It can be assumed this has been going on for a little while, but Shadow regrets it already. He can't help himself though, he doesn't want to let the opportunity of Sonic being close to him to go to waste...
> 
> Sorry, I should just let this be instead of explaining the whole thing--! Hope you enjoyed it!


End file.
